cheese and politics.

From the New York Times: “‘There is a reason Velveeta sells better than brie in this country,’ said Nelson Warfield, a conservative Republican consultant. ‘And for every Obama voter in the primary who shares his sophisticated disdain for the heartland, there will be plenty of McCain voters in the general who are ready to correct him.’”

2:35 PM Rachel: i mean, veleveeta isnt even really cheese

2:36 PM me: so john mccain is a fake candidate? 

                     he’s like cheese whiz?

              Rachel: apparently

                           less than 51% candidate, according to wikipedia

2:37 PM me: it might have something to do with him being born in like, a base near the panama canal.

              Rachel: thats the difference between ‘cheese product’ and ‘cheese food’

              me: so john mccain is a presidential product.

              Rachel: ?

                          which applies to him, i think

              me: not really digestible by the american people?

              Rachel: long shelf life

              me: yeah, look at his mom.

              Rachel: bright orange

2:38 PM me: maybe john mccain should get a perma-tan.

              Rachel: im liking this more and more

                          meh, i think a spray tan would do

              me: mystic tan?

              Rachel: as long as it doesnt affect his hair

              me: mystic mccain.

              Rachel: mystic pizza?

              me: heck, he should dye his hair.

                     i’m sure it’s one of his favorite films.

                     i mean, he watches the hills.

seen on CNN this evening.

CNN had a “compassion forum” sunday night, featuring both democratic candidates. personally, i don’t believe religion has any place in politics, but i understand that it’s basically political tradition for presidential aspirants to reaffirm their religious beliefs in public. still, i never thought that CNN would broadcast something that so overtly draws upon christianity. 

i turned on CNN when the coanchors were on their last question with hillary clinton. “do you think that god wants you to be president?” i almost fell out of my chair. 

and then with obama, there was the controversy-revival that the networks engage in daily. mr. obama, why did you call pennsylvanians bitter? what did you mean? can you re-re-re-re-explain it, please? 

i had to turn off the “compassion forum” for a while, but lo and behold, a replay, after an hour or so of commentary. that’s when i caught the question on the ticker-tape at the bottom of the screen. “when have you felt the holy spirit in your life?” i’m currently watching it on mute, and the ticker-tape asks obama, “can you explain “punished with a baby” remark?”

i understand that voters want to know where candidates stand on things like abortion and stem-cell research. but there’s a difference between discussing issues with a religious component and shoving christianity down people’s throats. 

oh my god, next question: “did god create world in 6 days?” honestly? the whole CNN slogan for this thing “faith and politics” exemplifies the whole problem: they don’t belong together. 

you know you’ve been at the computer too long when …

… you’re reading a book with your laptop on your lap, and instead of shifting the book upwards to read the bottom of the page, you hit the “down” arrow key on your macbook. 

i am turning into a robot.  

t – less than two months = COMMENCEMENT

so at our journalism school’s friday (??? i know, i was perplexed, too) commencement ceremony, the fab.u.lous ms. ariana huffington is scheduled to speak. i am JAZZED.

i must confess, though. i’m a bit jealous, because the school of communication, our building-mates, get to matriculate with this fine lady:

mmmhmm, look left. DAMN, GEENA.

LIFE-CHANGING.

i saw him on saturday night. not in concert, just walking around IN THE CLUB. then, the DJ put on one of his songs and we danced to steves with STEVES in the room. 3/8 loves it, never forget.

 

my favorite election nuggets.

election season makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. if someone made the political equivalent of a christmas sweater, i would probably wear it, cardigan-style.

anyway. i woke up on super tuesday feeling merry/jolly/festive/bloated. and i spent my lunch hour stalking voters at a polling place on wilshire with my notepad and pen. making my lurking all the more awkward was the fact that the polling place was an elementary school.

whatever. point is, i have a huge boner for this election, and i’ve been collecting various delightful quotes and photos over the past few months, so i thought i would share, even though some of them are obviously dated at this point. 

1. The Opinionator surveys reactions to the Democratic debate and pulls up THIS GEM: “Republicans consider Obama to be the girl Democrats will date and Hillary the one they will marry.” Forget that conventional wisdom has moved on and step back for a moment, please. We’re playing the date/marry/f— game, right? That begs the obvious question: Which candidate do Democrats want to bone, hmm?

2. The Los Angeles Times gathers ridiculous quotes from Clinton rally-goers in Missouri. A sample: “At a Sunday rally in Bridgeton, Mo., more than 1,000 people crowded into a union hall to hear her. One man craned his neck for a glimpse. “I see her bangs. She’s pretty.”

3. The MSM officially recognize the potency of the “Nascar constituency.” Dangerous? Perhaps. Two words: yard inflatables.   

4. This idea, courtesy of Tim George: “Have Romney, McCain, Obama, and Clinton do a co-presidency and all live in the White House. Like Real World.”  

5. NERD ALERT!

 

some things.

1. i fell down the steps today, carrying a bunch of laundry. it had rained, and i was wearing rainbow flip-flops.

2. the bring it on “again” or “returns” or whatever the one with hayden panetierre in it is called is amazingly quotable. sample: male cheerleader to jock-ish type: “i’m going to beat the dude out of you.” it is regularly featured on ABC family. please, let’s set up a time to watch it together.

3.  timothy george, john cheney and i have started a new blog: detestablephrases.wordpress.com. we take submissions; leave comments!

4. david gregory. dancing to mary j.  

SO CHECK IT LOL

i have to order checks from the account that actually has money in it so that i can start the long process of paying off my student loans.  

i knew i was allowed to pick the background (ROSES) and the font (CURSIVE-Y), but what i DID NOT know was that you could pick a “message” to appear below your signature line. bear in mind, you can create your own, but the check company also provides you with some examples* to choose from:  

*all capitalization courtesy of the check company.

  from the  patriotic category: 

WE WILL NEVER FORGET 9-11. 

from the hobbies category:  

I love my cat. 

Surf the ‘Net.

shop shop shop!

love it!!!  

miscellaneous: 

I Ruv You.

Darwin was right.

I’m in the mood for jazz.

Oh, for a thousand tongues to sing. [REBECCA: THE. TRIUMPHANT. TUTTI.] 

In the World Series, Nature bats last.

Make a joyful Noise.

I love being retired. 

Y2K EDITION, WATCH OUT MILLENIUM: 

 Y2K Together.

 Let’s Celebrate the Millennium!

THE DAWN OF THE MILLENNIUM.

SHARE THE MILLENNIUM VISION.

A UNITED  WORLD IN THE NEW MILLENNIUM. 

NEW MILLENNIUM, NEW BEGINNING. 

so. which one should i get, plz. keep in mind, this costs me an extra $4.50.  

why the local paper should not be allowed to exist, pt. 1.

the front page: december 20, 2007.   

 

 … and further down the page: 

 

 DDN, YOU ARE IRRELEVANT. the end.  

bew bew bew!